as the day passes i think that im being isolated more and more. okay la. i also dont know how to explain. its just.. a feeling i guess. that wherever people go, they wont call me. haix. unless i go and call them. but if i call everytime, that would seem abit despo. like i no friends like that. and i know if i everytime call you all out you all also quite sian. cuz always go out with me. haix.
im starting to be a loner liao. really lonely. next year seperate class le will be even more lonely. shall have to start getting used t eating lunch alone in the canteen, or even going home to eat. sian. i dont want such a life. but everyone seems to have paired up, and im the left over. in life, we have 2: hm and jw. phy got 4: ym and ss, jane n qp. tri got 3. but i know wn and vien will be together more la. i got a feeling. haix. so im the leftover lor. cannot blame you all la. its not your fault. im just saying i am the leftover only. no matter what, or how you try to say its not true, its a fact. its still true. and nothing you say can change that lor.
its nobody's fault. its nature, and perhaps i myself have played a role resulting in this. perhaps i have chosen to isolate myself. okay. yihfang, isolate, doest really make sense right? but i think its true bah.
when you all have fun together, nowadays i choose to remain silent bah. feel like i cant really understand what you all are talking about le. seems like i cant get into your world. i dont really seem to understand what you all are talking about, and whenever i ask, you all give me the face meaning "why are you asking that?" and it makes me feel inferior and i would stop asking.
i know when we ask, then we learn more. but i think im afraid. of what? i also dont know.
people have secrets. and i get the feeling im being exempted from more and more secrets as time goes by. i know, you can choose to keep secrets, you dont have to say everything out, especially to me, but you can choose not to flaunt the secret between both of you. it really gets irritating. if you dont wish to disclose any of it, what for mention it?
i think.. as i said ALOT OF TIMES in this post. not your fault. so dont tag on my board say your fault whatever ok? cuz im not blaming you. in fact, i think im kinda blaming myself. awrgh. im becoming more stupid by the day. cant stand myself.
anyway, i really hope i can get involved in more activities this holidays, and hopefully i wont turn into an isolated person. hahas. wah. still can laugh. ... hope that i can make more friends next year bah. =)
i think this post long and understandable right.
