argh. my mind is so banged up now. i feel fuzzy.
now let me summarise up my lousy week.
first, there were lots of exams where i cannot score well
then my specs broke.
then now, something so terrible happen that i cannot bear to describe it.
all i can say is that i thought i could trust you all by telling you things only to people i entrust. then now? what is happening? you all dont appreaciate me at all. have you ever thought or cared about my feelings or how i would feel if you all did that? no. N-O. and i dont think you regret now, do you? you still think what you did was not wrong. you were having fun. right? loads of fun really, when you are toying with other people's feelings, like mine.
never having to spare a thought for me right. for sure i wont be angry one, right? just let me tell you. WRONG. you are completely wrong. do you think i was not shocked, not hurt, not saddened by what you all did? you just thought it was a joke right? but there are people in this world who dont treat every single ting in life as a walking joke for you to laugh at! people like me.
it is not i am not angry. i still have feelings you know! dot always think that i dont flare up at you all, i dont shout or scream or vent my anger on you means im not angry. i just want to maintain a civilised relationship between us for the rest of this year. i dont wish to spoil our friendship. but have you spared a thought for me? no right. think about it la. consider what you have done.
you said if i said the same thing to yours, you would severe all ties with me. but you siad it to mine! and i didnt. why? i dont know. im angry at myself actually. why am i so stupid? i should have severed all ties with you right? but you still didnt get it when our dear friend so kindly reminded you. are you just dense, or are you just intent on playing with my feelings?
like that, you are no different from him, are you? you want to hurt me. make me feel sad and hurt and unwanted. lonely. deserted. everything is snatched from me.
i really dont understand you. i thought we were good friends. i once said i would not go for the same person you liked. and you agreed. now? even though it's fake, but do you know how worried i am? you know that you are prettier than me. then why are you still doing this? is this to hurt me? i didnt hurt you. or is that your idea of fun? i dont know. i really dont know. makes me wonder if i really know the true you. you werent like that last time. you would never ever do such a thing to me last time. but now you did. and im very puzzled. very. ive said what i got to say.
